From Diapers to Teenagers: The Evolving Journey of Faith in the Family
-D.Pawlowski, Director, Nipissing/Parry Sound
When my children were little, going to Mass was a logistical challenge. Diaper changes, car seats, strollers, soothing a restless infant, finding a seat… and I’d often wonder, Am I disturbing others? Should we leave? I’ll never forget one particular Sunday, when I was holding my infant son in a baby carrier and looked down to realize that my 3- and 5-year-olds were under the pew in front of me.. It was both exhausting and amusing.
But after Mass, other parishioners would say, “It’s so lovely to see your boys here; they’re so sweet.” These words always reminded me of Jesus’ words in the Gospel, “Let the children come to me… for to such belongs the kingdom of God.” What would church be without families, without the joy (and sometimes chaos) of children?
As the years went on, my boys grew older. We continued attending Mass, week after week, as a family. Their energy—though still lively—became less disruptive, and in some ways, a source of comfort to other parents. “If your kids are here, surely mine can’t be that bad!” It became a quiet reassurance.
But then came the teenage years. The stroller was long gone, and suddenly, it wasn’t so easy to motivate my eldest to go to church. Gone were the days of picking him up and carrying him into the pew. Now, he had his own opinions, and, own preferences. “Do I have to go?” would become the familiar refrain. For many parents, this is where the real struggle begins: How do you encourage your teen to say “yes” to Mass when they’d rather stay home?
A Different Kind of Effort: The Teen Faith Journey
At this stage, the faith journey requires a different kind of effort. It’s no longer about the journey of getting to mass, or keeping them entertained through the service; it’s about cultivating a habit of faith, a commitment to practice, and a deepening understanding of God’s presence in our lives. Routine is still important, but it’s no longer just about showing up. It’s about being intentional in how we nurture their faith, modeling it in ways that are meaningful and relatable.
Role Modeling: The Key to Teen Faith
First, as parents, our role becomes more crucial than ever. At this point, it’s not enough to simply tell our children that faith is important; we must show them. Our own actions—the consistency of our Mass attendance, the way we speak about God, the time we devote to prayer—speak volumes to our teens. This is where role modeling takes center stage. Teens are watching how we live our faith, and that’s often more powerful than any sermon or rule we might impose.
Our kids need to see that faith is an important part of our lives, shaping our choices, our conversations, and our priorities. They need to see us making time for God—not just on Sundays, but every day. The idea is that our faith should be something they witness in our daily actions, rather than something we merely talk about or enforce.
Engage with Faith in Different Ways
Second, create opportunities to engage with faith in different ways. Nourish their faith in a variety of ways, but always keep the importance of attending Mass central. If your teen is reluctant to go to church, there are still ways to engage them in faith outside of Sunday mornings. For example, watching the Mass on TV together—while not a substitute for attending in person—can still provide an opportunity for them to connect with the liturgy. Or, try reading and discussing the weekly Gospel at home. This can help them engage with the Scripture and provide a platform for meaningful conversations that reinforce the values and messages of our faith.
In addition, discussing the Gospel readings or the homily after Mass can help foster a deeper understanding and appreciation for what was heard in church. Ask your teen about their thoughts on the readings, or how they relate to their life. These conversations can help keep God a present part of your family life, reinforcing the importance of the Mass and making faith a regular conversation topic in the home.
Making Faith Accessible with Media and Apps
Third, in this digital age, where social media and screens often dominate our attention, we have an opportunity to turn that dynamic around and fill the digital space with social faith media. There are several apps available that can help make faith more accessible, especially for teens who are glued to their devices. Here are a few that can help engage your teen and integrate faith into their daily lives:
- Examen Prayer App: This app gently reminds you to pray the Examen daily and walks you through the reflective process. It helps you take stock of your day, reflect on how you’ve encountered God, and consider areas for growth. If you take advantage of the journaling features, it can help your teen track their spiritual journey and see how small changes in daily life can bring them closer to God.
- Pray as You Go: This app offers short, daily reflections with a focus on quiet, mindful prayer. It includes guided exercises like the Examen, Stations of the Cross, and Rosary, allowing your teen to engage with their faith through listening, breathing, and reflection—perfect for a busy schedule. By setting up a daily reminder, they can build a habit of prayer that doesn’t require a lot of time but offers real spiritual nourishment.
- Hallow: Hallow is a Catholic prayer app offering audio-guided meditation sessions, Bible readings, and reflective prayers. It’s designed to help teens (and adults) grow in their faith, find peace in prayer, and stay connected to God throughout the day. With over 1,000 sessions, Hallow offers something for every spiritual need, from contemplative prayer to Bible study and homilies.
These apps provide opportunities to engage with faith in small but meaningful ways, giving your teen access to prayer and reflection on their own terms. They can listen during a walk, reflect during study breaks, or use the time they’d otherwise spend scrolling social media to connect with God instead.
Keeping God Present in Daily Life
Fourth, keep God present in daily life. Faith isn’t something that should be confined to Sundays or special occasions. Make a point to talk about God at the dinner table, sharing moments of gratitude, joy, or even struggles. Weave God into your everyday conversations. Discussing life’s challenges and triumphs with God in mind can help your teen see that faith is relevant, even outside of the church building.
The Importance of Mass
Finally, remind your teen of how important it is to you that they join you at Mass. This isn’t about controlling their choices; it’s about living out the First Commandment, which calls us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). Attending Mass is a way of honoring that love. Ask for one hour of their time—not because you’re enforcing a rule, but because, as a family, you are united in worship and love for God.
The Scaffolding of Faith: Letting Go, but Staying Close
In the end, as parents, we want to teach our children that faith is something that shapes and sustains us every day of our lives. There’s a beautiful analogy I often think of when it comes to guiding children in faith: scaffolding. When our children are young, we hold their hands, taking them to Mass, praying with them, and guiding them in their spiritual journey. As they grow, we begin to step back, letting the scaffolding fall away. Our goal is to support them as they build their own relationship with God—helping them become independent in their faith while still being present when they need us.
Our job is to build a foundation that will remain strong and steady, even when we’re no longer the ones holding their hands. We lead them to God, but in the end, we trust that they will come to Him on their own, just as He has always been there for us.
